the house that built me

there's a new song out by miranda lambert called "the house that built me", where she reminisces on her past at the house she lived in as a child. she recalls a few of her most treasured memories from that place... where she learned to play guitar, where she left her hand prints, where her favorite dog is buried...
she says that whenever she gets lost in the world, and forgets who she is, she goes back to this place... the place that reminds her of who she is. her home.

honestly, when i first heard this song, it made me think of how i feel every time i go home to broken arrow. i wander around my house and almost immediately i feel saddened by "happy" memories i had with the boy i dated all through high school. kind of ironic, but none-the-less, it makes me feel completely awful. i intensly dislike that when i step foot into my own home, where i should find comfort and love, instead feel instantly saddened and depressed. i would do anything (eat a cockroach, walk barefoot on glass, kiss an alligator) ANYTHING to get rid of the feeling of sadness i have when i'm home. my most treasured memories are the ones i shared with him.

this blog isn't meant to be depressing or anything, even though it kinda seems that way so far. but, those rough moments at home made me realize that my "home" isn't really my home. you might see where this is going...

God is my home, and He is the house that built me. my memories at my "home" do not define my emotion or who i am, and i shouldn't let them. but when they do, no matter how many phone calls to friends and family i make to relieve me of my inner pain, nothing helps me overcome the pain as much as Jesus. Jesus gives my pain meaning, so that what i am going through is not in vain. at times when i am feeling especially sad, it's hard to convince myself of this. so i pray, i read my Bible, and i find comfort in God.

do any of you reading this feel the same way about your home? maybe the memories you have there aren't ones that you like to reflect on. what do you do to overcome them? do you suffer through and just hope a solution comes your way or do you find strength through Christ?